As users hunt for a more perfect match, the seemingly unlimited options offered by dating app platforms increase the likelihood of rejection. On these sites, it is possible to spend more time hunting for love than it is to deepen a prospective individual connection.
But dating apps can be fun, so what is the problem?
If there isn’t a problem, there isn’t a problem. After all, the distinction between lifestyle choices and what would be considered harmful behavior can be a hazy one. Problem behavior can be characterized as attempts to escape from unpleasant feelings as a general rule.
Repetitive behavior can act as a protective screen against the re-experiencing of susceptible emotions, past wounding, and activated mental states. However, such behavior can lead to bad mood, anxiety, and low self-esteem, which is what makes the behavior problematic. It’s also possible that your behavior is generating problems in other areas of your life.
According to some studies, over half of matches do not respond to messages, thus exacerbating feelings of rejection. First dates can be extremely disappointing. Online profiles or chats may not be representative of the person you encounter in person. There can be a sense of manipulation, which can lead to stress, anxiety, and even despair as a result of the dating process.
How can counselling help?
Counseling can help you explore your time limits when it comes to dating apps and re-evaluate your dating goals and expectations. Is it a relationship you’re looking for, or do you truly need to keep yourself occupied with several online talks and dates to avoid negative feelings?
Therapy can provide a secure environment for you to explore these troubling emotions as well as evaluate how your survival and trauma-based learning systems were formed. Early attachments and formative experiences often provide clues to how you get activated and triggered when faced with rejection or loneliness.
How did you feel cared for and loved, and how were your emotional needs addressed, for example? Were there any noteworthy occurrences in your early childhood that caused emotional damage and may have influenced the development of your fight/flight system? An overabundance of need for validation and acceptance could be a result of early emotional trauma such as separation, abandonment (or the fear of it), exclusion, or mockery. Because the source of the damage is not addressed, using dating apps to repair these ongoing wounds might lead to reduced self-esteem.
When the nerve center of the damage is identified, however, healing can occur. It is possible to gain a stronger sense of personal freedom by not requiring external validation from others in order to feel competent and worthy.
Instead of escaping your feelings by engaging in the activity of several discussions on dating apps, recovery from problem behavior requires you to feel your feelings. Identifying the source of projections can also be part of the recovery process. Psychological projection is a defense strategy that is activated subconsciously in order to escape unpleasant feelings or emotions.
It could entail projecting negative feelings or emotions onto someone else rather than dealing with the negative sensations oneself. We may be attempting to repair a wounded portion or element of ourselves when we project. When we consider dating a certain individual, we may be projecting a part of ourselves that feels inadequate, not good enough, or looks to be missing in some manner.
The prospect of a date and the chance of romance can increase the urge for an emotional fix. Dates, on the other hand, may provide a decreasing set of returns and less and less satisfaction. It’s sometimes best to work on your relationship with yourself before going out on the field. When the desire for external validation and acceptance is high, there’s a good probability that you won’t be able to properly satisfy that emotional need.