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5 Online Dating Rules For Actually Finding A Relationship, From Experts
When you first start online dating, or meeting people through dating apps and websites, it can feel overwhelming and chaotic, and it can be discouraging if you don’t connect with anyone straight away. But have faith in the process: Committed couples are meeting one other online all the time these days, and up to a third of marriages in the United States now begin online. So it’s worthwhile to give it a shot in college.
Here are a few online dating principles to keep in mind if you’re new to dating apps or just want some tips on how to handle the process more successfully:
1. Know what you want.
When you know exactly what you’re searching for, online dating works best. Are you on the lookout for a long-term partner? Or are you more interested in sex and casual dating? Or perhaps you simply want to meet new people who are intriguing to you?
Set a clear goal for what you want to achieve. It might even be beneficial to sit down and write a little about what kind of relationship you want and who would be the best person to have it with ahead of time. You’ll be able to be more thoughtful while evaluating people’s profiles and deciding whether to swipe right (connect) or left (pass) on them. Concentrate on finding folks that share your dating objectives.
2. Write a profile that mirrors what you want.
Give your profile some thought! A short and funny profile can be ideal if you’re just seeking for laughter. Write a longer and more meaningful profile that displays who you are, what you enjoy to do and think about, and the type of person you want to allow into your life if you’re seeking for a deeper connection with someone.
Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, a relationship therapist, says it’s fine if your profile doesn’t appeal to everyone. She says at mbg, “Write a selective and well-tailored profile.”
3. Use clear photos of your face, ideally smiling.
On your dating profile, it’s a good idea to have a selection of images of yourself. Make sure your face is visible in the first photo, and don’t make it a group photograph where it’s unclear who is you. Smiling images appeal to the majority of people since they make you appear approachable and entertaining. If at all feasible, include some of your personality in the images, such as a shot of you laughing, a shot of you outside if you enjoy being outside, or a shot of you in your PJs sipping decaf coffee if that’s your dream Friday night.
Milrad adds, “Make sure your photos are recent and realistic.”
4. Send messages freely.
When people initially start online dating, they may be shy, not wanting to send any messages or respond to any messages that come in. However, you won’t meet anyone until you truly engage. Sending someone a message does not immediately imply that you want to date them; think of it as starting a discussion with the stranger at the coffee shop next to you.
So message anyone who piques your curiosity, and don’t forget to answer to any messages that you find interesting or from someone who intrigues you. (Some dating apps won’t let you message someone until you’ve previously matched or shown interest in each other, which is all the more reason to reach out once that happens! You’re already aware that there’s a shared interest.)
5. Write an interesting opener.
Don’t just say “Hi” or “Hey, what’s up?” the first time you message someone. Make it interesting! Show that you’ve read their profile by commenting on anything they’ve said or a specific photo they’ve uploaded, or better yet, by asking a question based on it. You might also inquire about a specific shared communal experience, such as an impending holiday, the pandemic’s unpredictability, or something special to your city.