does online dating work for over 50s

does online dating work for over 50s

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Dating over 50: 5 seniors on what it’s like to date online

Swiping, chatting, ghosting, and scamming — online dating can be difficult for digital natives who have grown up connecting mostly over the internet. But what if you’re in your 60s and want to try it for the first time?

“I felt a little too old to be out in bars trying to pick up women,” said Bruce, a 66-year-old from Long Island, New York, who began online dating over two years ago using Zoosk (Zoosk is a general dating website, but one that is popular among older singles). “I was a little reluctant because I hadn’t dated in a long time — I’d been married for around 26 years — but I figured online dating would be a nice way to break the ice, because everyone on the internet is equal.”

For those 65 and older, who have a significantly greater rate of marriage than young folks, internet dating can be a more convenient way to meet other singles and those outside of their social circles. Between 2013 and 2016, the number of adults aged 55 to 64 who used dating sites and apps doubled, according to Pew Research. And, as of last fall, 13% of persons aged 65 and up have used the internet to find love, compared to 48% of those aged 18 to 29. That number is certain to rise, especially now that the pandemic has driven everyone to socially distance themselves, especially higher-risk elders.

“It’s much tougher to meet people as you get older,” Rita, 67, of Long Island, adds. “I used to have a lot of luck just meeting into people — I met my second husband at a record store — but after he died, I was very lonely.” She discovered that web surfing had replaced the once-in-a-lifetime meet-cute. (Spoiler alert: she met Bruce on Zoosk and began dating him!)

The highs and lows of joining a dating website may happen at any age, even in the midst of a pandemic, as these elders demonstrate. Five people over the age of 60 share their stories about finding love on the internet.

“Sometimes I feel like part of it is my age, that people might think that I’m either gullible or a target financially”

Janet, 68, New York, New York

In the previous year, I took dating sites a little more seriously because you hear so many success stories that you think, “OK, fine.” “Perhaps I’m simply not doing it right.” However, I haven’t had much luck on my own. I spent approximately a year on Zoosk and had three scammers. I discovered that wasn’t their true photos in two of the incidents. In today’s world, all you have to do is Google someone’s name. Or you’ll try to make plans with them — this is pre-pandemic — and they’ll say, “No, I’m not up to it.” Oh, I’m on the road. Oh no, I’m stuck.” I also discovered that anyone claiming to be a civil engineer is a con artist since they require money to travel to areas like Malaysia or Indonesia to build roads or a bridge, and they can’t get back.

Part of me thinks it’s because of my age, that people assume I’m either gullible or a financial target. But I have no desire to be a nurse, a purse, or anything else. I’m really speaking with someone I met on Coffee Meets Bagel tonight who appears to be very regular. But first, I suggested we FaceTime so I could see if he looks like his photo.

“In my profile, I said that I wasn’t looking for drama”

Bruce, 66, Long Island, New York

I wanted to attempt online dating since I was getting too old to be out in bars looking for women. I’m young, but you know, things aren’t simple for me right now. I wasn’t scared, but I was cautious since I hadn’t dated in a long time — I’d been married for around 26 years — but I figured online dating would be a wonderful way to break the ice, because everyone is equal on the internet.

Zoosk was my first choice because I had read it was excellent for seniors. I stated in my profile that I was not looking for drama, but rather someone who shared my interests. Oh, and there will be no Trump supporters! I actually put that in there because I was on a date with a woman who was extremely kind, but she stated she prayed for Trump every morning before meeting my girlfriend Rita. Really. It was a deterrent. After that, I tried talking to someone to make myself feel more at ease for when we finally met in person. But it hasn’t all been horrible; Rita and I are approaching our two-year wedding anniversary.

I don’t provide advice to people in general, but if a friend is having trouble, I tell them that online dating worked for me. And there’s always the possibility of making a new buddy.

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