If you’re a male over 40, your dating history likely predates the widespread adoption of dating apps. You probably began dating in the days when people met in bars, were set up on blind dates, or simply settled for their classmates or coworkers, married in their 20s, had a couple of children by 35, and then divorced. In fact, maybe you did exactly that and that’s why you’re now looking for dating-app advice.
Whether you’re a middle-aged man returning to the dating world after a marriage-length layoff or a proud “never married, no kids” type, you probably remember a time when dating didn’t involve wifi, and you’re searching for some help navigating the online dating space.
While dating apps were first popularized by college-aged millennials in the early 2010s, the platforms have become increasingly popular with older individuals in recent years. After all, the oldest members of the generation that initially adopted dating apps a decade ago are already reaching the age of 40. You may be wondering whether dating apps are best for you, a mature adult man, whether you’re an older guy who’s new to dating apps or an aging millennial (sorry) who suddenly feels too old for Tinder.
So, as a 23-year-old woman, what do I know about dating a man over 40 on an app? While I may not have much experience being you, I do have a lot of experience dating you. I’ve figured out which applications I’m most likely to find you on, and which apps you’re most likely to find me on.
But, since not everyone wants to waltz into middle life with a much younger woman — or receive dating advise from one — I asked Lee Wilson and Joshua Pompey, two professional dating coaches, for their opinions on the top dating apps for men over 40. Here are their top three recommendations, as well as a couple of extra suggestions from me.
Bumble
Bumble was considered the best selection for guys over 40 by both experts I spoke with. ”Right now, Bumble is the most popular among older generations above 40,” Pompey explains. “I strongly suggest that one.”
Bumble, for those unaware, is an early Tinder competitor that stands out from the crowd with its signature ladies-first approach. Women must initiate contact on Bumble, and they only have 24 hours to do so.
Hinge
Hinge was also mentioned by Wilson and Pompey as a good choice for the over-40 crowd. Hinge, which is owned by the same parent company as Tinder, has grown in popularity in recent years as a more sophisticated alternative for app daters who take online dating a little more seriously than Tinder daters.
While Hinge, the self-proclaimed “software built to be deleted,” promotes itself as a platform for long-term partnerships, I’ve found it to be a terrific alternative for casual dating as well. Hinge, on the other hand, retains a slightly elevated, more mature air than applications like Tinder, regardless of what you’re looking for. There are fewer fake, spammy profiles, as well as strange conversations and shady encounters in general.
Match
Match.com, one of the first dating services that predates the dating app boom, is still one of the top online dating platforms for older adults eager to take dating more seriously, according to Pompey.
“It’s fascinating with the over-40 set because, while dating apps have gained some traction, the online dating world for people — especially those in their mid-40s and higher — still leans toward traditional sites like Match.com,” Pompey adds. “I still believe Match.com is far and away the most crowded with people looking for genuine relationships for those over 40.”
The League
This recommendation comes from neither of the specialists, but from me, who, while not a professional, has a lot of knowledge in the sector.
The League is a dating app for grown-ups who know what they’re doing. The League, a members-only site for busy, successful people who don’t have time to waste on endless swiping and dead-end discussions, was created for them. “Our consumers’ primary value is their time,” League founder and CEO Amanda Bradford told InsideHook last year, and The League isn’t interested in squandering it.
There’s no swiping, and there’s no never-ending supply of internet strangers to chase. Instead, The League sends you three to five potential matches each day, which you can accept or reject. If you’re compatible, you’ll have 14 days to make a decision.
SeekingArrangement
It’s no surprise that this one came from me as well. I know what you’re thinking, but just give me a chance to explain myself. Seeking is most known for being a sugar dating app, but it’s much more. Seeking is a dating service for those who know exactly what they want, no matter how specific it is. A platform like Seeking is perfect for extremely picky people who aren’t interested in normal relationship narratives, timetables, or expectations because of its non-traditional environment. SeekingArrangement is a judgement-free platform centered on openness and open communication, whether you’re into kink, polyamory, or you’re recently separated and not seeking for anything serious. If you want to avoid the queue for whatever reason,
Pompey, on the other hand, believes that success can be found regardless of which app you use.
He explains, “My view is that you can meet someone on any app.” “All it takes is placing yourself in the greatest possible position for success and hoping for a little bit of luck.”